When the market falls, I feel relief.

I am going to tell you something that sounds wrong.

When the market falls apart, really falls apart, the kind of drop that has people calling their advisor with that tight sound in their voice, I do not feel what they feel. I feel something closer to relief. And on the worst days, if I am being honest with you, something closer to excitement.

The same falling market that nearly ended me at twenty one is the one I now quietly wait for.

Here is what changed.

You already know how this story starts. I was twenty one, all in on one stock, certain it could not go down. When the market finally turned, it took almost everything I had. But the part I want you to see today is not the one stock. It is how I was standing when it fell.

And here is what made it so much worse than being all in. I was on margin. I had borrowed money to buy even more of it than I could actually afford. On the way up, that feels like genius. On the way down it does the very same thing in reverse, only faster, and it quietly takes the choice out of your hands.

So when it fell, I did not get to decide anything. The call came, and I was sold out on the way down, forced to cover money I had borrowed to buy more of the exact thing that was wiping me out. No reserve to meet it. No way to wait it out. Not a dollar left for anything else. A prepared person gets to choose what to sell, what to keep and when to buy. The margin call made every one of those choices for me.

That is the lesson it took me years to understand. The crash did not destroy me. The way I was standing when it hit did. All in, on borrowed money, with nothing held back. I did not get unlucky. I built the exact conditions that turn a drop into a wipeout, and then the market came along and did what markets do.

I have watched the same scene play out in the years since. The market drops hard, the phones light up, and plenty of people sell. Terrified, at the worst possible moment, turning a number on a screen into a loss they will never get back. Another group does the exact opposite. Calm. Some of them almost glad. While everyone around them runs for the door, they walk toward it.

For a long time I thought the difference was nerve. It is not. It was never courage in the moment, and it was never luck either. Not one of them could have told you where the bottom would be. The difference was decided long before the drop ever came. The calm ones had built their lives so a falling market could not force their hand. They had room. They were not selling because they were not trapped, and when everything went on sale, they were the only ones standing there able to do something about it.

So here is the part almost nobody wants to believe. A falling market hurts everyone on paper. The worst damage usually comes to the people who are forced to sell into it, because they needed the money or built a life with no slack in it. Or who are so frightened that they freeze, watch, and then sell at the very bottom just to make the fear stop. The market falls on everyone. Where you are standing when it falls decides what it costs you.

The prepared person feels the opposite of fear when it drops, and it is not because they are braver than you. It is because a drop is the one moment their whole plan was quietly built for.

We appreciate the upside. We get excited about the downside. I have said that for years, and most people hear it as a clever turn of phrase. It is not. This is what it actually means. Not that we want anyone to suffer. Not that we are careless about a hard year. We spend the calm years getting ready, so the scary years can arrive as an opening instead of a disaster. The upside is pleasant, and everybody enjoys the upside. The downside is where the real distance can get made, and only for the people who set themselves up for it before there was a single sign of trouble.

Which is the part that should bother you a little.

Because wanting to feel that calm changes nothing. You cannot decide, in the middle of the fall, to suddenly become the person who walks toward the door. That person and the one selling at the bottom were not separated by willpower when the screen turned red. They were separated by a handful of ordinary choices, made years earlier, on calm days, when nothing was falling and there was no reason to think about any of it.

That gap is the whole game. How it actually gets built, and what being ready really looks like long before you ever need it, is what I want to get into on Tuesday.

Talk Tuesday.

— Mateo